Gone Gone Gone
by theonewhosawitall
Summary: arthur is dead. he has been for nearly a thousand years. merlin still isnt over it. then when he starts feeling so bad he thinks suicide is the only real answer to getting back to arthur, suddenly he starts getting visits from a ghostly figure!
1. Chapter 1

It'd been a while since merlin lost Arthur. Long enough for the seasons to have completed their circuit almost a thousand times; not long enough for him to be over it. He had a little hut at the forest's edge where he spent his time wallowing in his memories. He set out the pills and brandy to end it all. He couldn't take anymore. He was about to swallow the pills in his mouth, when there was a knock at the door.

"Merlin? Are you in?" a girl called from the doorway. Merlin rolled his eyes. He spat the pills into the fire and heaved himself up from his chair to open the door and looked out into the dark. "Hello Gwen dear!" he said as cheerily as he could. Gwen smiled slightly the glow from the fire lighting her face.

"Will you be coming to the dance at the ball tomorrow merlin?" she asked handing him a flyer. Merlin wrinkled his nose. "I'm not a great dancer!" he said.

"That's a lie! I saw you dance all the time in Camelot!" she reminded him. Merlin shrugged. Back then he was able to be happy enough to dance. "Please come?" she fluttered her eyelids and gave him huge puppy dog eyes. Merlin closed his eyes instead of rolling them this time. "Fine!" he sighed.

"See you then!" Gwen smiled chirpily and walked away.

Merlin screwed up the leaflet and threw it on the fire. It burned a slightly green flame. Merlin stubbed his toe on the table, and stumbled backward. He felt himself about to fall when something took a firm grasp under his armpits. It hoisted him back to his feet and balanced him out. When merlin turned around, there was nothing there!

Merlin shook his head thinking he had imagined it. When he went back to the chair, he realised he no longer had any tablets and the last of the brandy had spilt over the floor. He sighed impatiently and cleared it up.

Merlin wandered over to his bed. He didn't bother to change he just crawled under the covers. A few small tears ran from the corner of his eye. He didn't like sleeping alone. Then he felt the invisible figure slide onto the bed beside him.

Merlin didn't bother to shake it off. He didn't care. The figure slid his arm around Merlin and cradled him close. Merlin felt the warmth and familiarity of the figure. He allowed himself to snuggle closer and drift off into a light sleep.

The sound of a barn owl hitting the window woke merlin. He was suddenly cold. He realised that the fire had burnt out but he couldn't be bothered to relight it. he laid shivering in his bed wondering where the figure had gone, if it would come back, who it was, if it had stopped him committing suicide, and if so, why.

Merlin groaned and rolled over to shiver himself back to sleep. Suddenly the fire flickered on again. Merlin froze. The warmth of the flames got through to him, and he relaxed slightly. A hand touched his head gently, so he pretended to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin heard a chair be pulled up to watch over him. A hand was placed gently on his side. Merlin brushed it with his own hand and it was snatched back. Merlin bit his lip slightly.

There was a slight smell in his hut now. It was deeply familiar. Merlin breathed it in as much as he could to try and stir up the memories. It reminded him of Camelot. Back when they had the last jousting contest. He smiled fondly at the memories as they became his dream.

Merlin had drifted off so easily and his dream had been so real that he didn't realise he had fallen asleep. When he woke up he thought he'd been awake all night. It took him a heart shattering realisation to remember, Camelot was in fact a long, long time ago!

The dawn was breaking over the trees out of the window. Merlin watched tiredly for a minute before he sat up.

He forced himself out of bed and wandered across to the kitchen. He was surprised to find his usual breakfast of toast and two Weetabix with chopped banana on the table waiting. He smiled. "I don't know if you're a ghost, spirit, poltergeist or whatever, but you're alright!" he said.

Merlin could have sworn he heard a chuckled from behind him. He swung around but he couldn't see anyone still! "Hey, do you have to be invisible? Can't I thank you with a hug?!" he asked looking around. There was a small tapping noise as it approached.

Merlin let it push out his arms and slid between them. Merlin pulled him in to give a huge hug. He felt the warmth on his chest as if they were actually there. The familiar smell made its way in to Merlin's nose again. It made merlin smile.

When merlin stepped back he was stilling smile. For the first time in a long time it was a genuine smile. He wasn't sure why. "Good toast!" merlin said as he bit into a piece cut into a triangle.

"So, what's your name?" merlin asked. There was no reply. "Are you dead? Have you met this clot pole called Arthur? Is he alright? I hope so! Can you eat? Are you hungry? D'you want me to make you some food?" merlin offered.

"That's my merlin. Still trying to make friends. Even when he does know who it is!" Arthur's voice said. The blonde, blue eyed king appeared in the seat at the end of the table. Merlin beamed with indescribable delight and ran to throw his arms around him!


	3. Chapter 3

"Are you alright? Did you actually die? Are you sure? What was it like? Where did you go? How are you back? Why did you wait so long? How long are you back for? What are you now? Can you become alive again? How? What can I do? Was it you last night too? Did you stop me committing suicide? Why? Are you back for good? Can you stay with me? Forever?" merlin listed a few of the million questions whirling around his head. Arthur pressed a finger to his lips.

"yes, yes, yes, painful, Avalon, I don't know, it wasn't through choice, I don't know, I think I'm a spirit, probably, I don't know, find out for me, yes, yes, because I don't want you to, I hope so, I'm trying, if I can!" Arthur answered.

"We'll ask Sam and Dean! They'll know! They know everything about this stuff!" merlin said rushing for the door.

"Merlin! Eat first!" Arthur said to stop him running into the middle of an unquestionably dangerous hunt. Merlin span around to face him. "No we'll go now! We'll go and call the doctor and he'll fly us there!" merlin said.

"And if they don't know? If they send me back what'll you do?" Arthur asked seriously.

"Honestly? Die of pain!" merlin stated.

"And I don't want you to die. So merlin, eat. Then we'll search your books. Then we'll call Sam and dean! Got it?"

Merlin looked at the floor undecidedly. He looked uncertain about Arthur's plan. But he didn't want to risk the Winchesters sending him away. So he sighed and went to eat his breakfast instead.

Thirty cups of tea and coffee, thirteen hours, ninety six books, one phone call, one chat with the Winchesters, one badly aimed dive to catch a lamb and one boat ride later, they were in the middle of Lake Avalon in the thick mist.

Merlin said a spell to summon the Excalibur. Arthur was grateful to have it back. It didn't even have a speck of rust! Arthur slaughtered the lamb with his sword and spilled the blood over the cloak merlin had kept. They bundled the lamb's remains in it with the Excalibur. They threw the cloak it beneath the water's surface.

They both leaned over expectantly. Nothing more than a splash happened. They saw the red fabric sinking down into the murky waters until it vanished beneath the depths. All was calm still.

"Is that it?" merlin whispered. Then all of a Sudden

SPLASH!

Arthur toppled under the surface! Merlin reached down to help him, but Arthur was pulled down! Merlin yelled in desperation as Arthur sank deeper and deeper until he vanished as the cloak had! Then all was calm. In desperation merlin looked around the dark waters. He couldn't see anything! But he knew Arthur was down there! And it was merlin's fault he was gone again! Merlin felt the burning tears forge their way down his face.

He had just spent ages to get everything he'd even wanted, to have it snatched away again!


	4. Chapter 4

Merlin fell to the bottom of the boat to sob furiously. How was it fair? How was any of this fair?! Then he pulled himself up. He let an insane fury rage through him. He wasn't going to lose Arthur. Not this time, not again!

Merlin pulled off his top, and his jacket and his boots. Merlin grasped the side. He stared down at his reflection. His face was white as paper and his eyes were red and puffy. He took a deep breath.

"Arthur, I'm going to save you, or die at your side!" he whispered.

Merlin stood up. He prepared himself to dive in. before he knew what was happening the icy waters pricked against his skin in small pin prick points that almost burned.

Merlin looked around. He couldn't see properly, but that wasn't going to stop him from going deeper! He dove down and swam deeper into the murky waters!

Merlin's lungs were screaming for air! They begged for him to go back up! His head was beginning to feel light, and he was getting dizzy. His heart thundered on and his lungs tightened.

Suddenly, just after he stopped being able to breath, something gripped him. He didn't have time to make sure they didn't hurt merlin. They swam as strong and fast as they could up towards the surface.

They exploded from the water! Merlin was shoved into the boat, and Arthur climbed in after him. He lept straight into action, trying to jump start merlin's heart with his hands. Arthur opened merlin's mouth and a load of water came flooding out, but he didn't open his eyes.

Angry self-blaming tears pierced Arthur's eyes. He scooped up merlin's body and cradle him near. Then he found himself too weak to try again. He just wept hugging merlin closer as merlin had to him all those years ago.

"I'm sorry! I love you!" he whispered into merlin's body.


	5. Chapter 5

Arthur sobbed into merlin's old worn once blue now colourless neckerchief. It was like he hadn't taken it off this entire time. He felt Merlin's skin. It was cold and smooth under his own. He felt where his own fingertips had bruised Merlin's torso.

Arthur pulled merlin in closer. He put his forehead against merlin's and felt his wet black hair drip into his own wet blonde hair.

Merlin slid his arms up to pull the weeping blonde in closer to him. "I love you too cabbage head!" he whispered. If Arthur had hugged merlin any tighter he would have broken something.

Arthur pulled his idiot to his lips and kissed him hard before pushing him back and hitting him. "Don't you ever dare to do that again merlin!" he warned.

"I won't need to if you're here beside me!" merlin said.

Needless to say, everyone was astounded to see Arthur back alive! But it gave them more of a reason to celebrate. There wasn't much more than the sheer joy that out did the lack of money they had to make this party happen. It wasn't amazingly decorated and there wasn't a lot on offer. What they did have was either donated or from previous decorations. and no party would ever be greater!


End file.
